I have been around Mums for long enough now to know that gin (and sometimes wine) is a hot topic of conversation. Mummy is more likely to be found sipping sauvignon, but Friday is Gin night, the start of the weekend, and the first sound of Daddy’s key in the door sees ice-cubes hurtling out of the mega-fridge and the Bombay Sapphire separated from it’s sticky mates Cointreau and DiSaronno. There is a saying that Gin is Mother’s Ruin, but I think it is for different reasons that Mummy came a cropper with it recently…
Supermarkets are places the Bug and I rarely get to see, due to our tendency to disappear down the toy aisles and spend the trip whining about needing “yet another bit of useless plastic.” But pressed for time last week with the Bug in tow, she shoe-horned him into a trolley (he is 5, I’d say that is child-cruelty) and whizzed round the veg section, pausing to grab him a box of cherry tomatoes to snack on (more child-cruelty). Consulting her list she reeled off her requirements:
- M: We need ham…Β
- Bug:Β For Daddy’s sandwiches, and we need biscuits…
- M:Β Ryvitas…
- Bug:Β For Mummy’s diet….. Don’t forget we need biscuits…
- M:Β Orange juice…
- Bug:Β For GG, I hate orange…. What about the biscuits?
- M:Β … and tonic.
- Bug:Β For Mummy’s Gin.
- M:Β Yes, erm, lets get some biscuits now.
- Bug:Β No, we need to get the tonic, or you won’t be able to have your Gin Mummy. Where’s the Gin? Giiiiiiinnnn? Where are you??? Mummy needs you!!!!!
There were a few raised eyebrows, and a couple of stifled giggles, as mothers everywhere kept their heads down in silent sympathy.
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Great post – its amazing how the kids seem to always know whats the most embarrassing thing to mention at the top of their voice in supermarkets…
Oh dear… I remember Master E calling wine ‘Grandma’s juice’ as a tot and being horrified once when she smashed a bottle – when he learnt it’s name he happily told anyone who’d listen that Grandma’s juice is wine – eek!
That is hilarious! Definitely go for online shopping in the future!
You have him well trained! It’s a fact you are a gin hound now!
This is properly, properly funny. *chokes on tea*
Tee hee! :0) x
This has made me laugh so much! Makes me feel better about Molly asking why I hadn’t out any wine in the trolley when we were shopping a few weeks ago! : ) xx
Lol, it turns out quite a few of us have come a cropper at the hands of our alcohol-savvy offspring!
Did you send her to the shop for gin?
Of course not! She can only manage a bottle of wine – a litre of Gin is far too heavy for a 7 year old π
It’s really nice when they learn to drive and they are old enough to buy the alcohol for you. π
Oh dear, it really is getting bad – someone will call Childline before we know it!
And this is why supermarket creches were such a good idea π
Damn right!
I feel your blushes – have had similar. When dragging 4 kids round supermarket doing Christmas shop looking like death warmed up as suffering from horrid cold (husband in bed with flu!) I discovered that the pitying looks I was getting from the other shoppers were due not to my state of imminent collapse but rather because my third child was telling anyone who came within lisping distance – “My Daddy is in Gaol”.
Oh good lord! They must all have been a little bit scared! Requirement for gin, I think π
My mother noted the other day that the majority of my recent Facebook comments mentioned gin. I told her the reason is quite simple, school summer holidays with a 2 year old and 3 year old.
I think it is an epidemic… π
lol hilarious. Love it x
Hahaha, busted!
Z has a plastic tea set thingy and he was pouring invisible tea to us one day and offered me a cup but I was busy doing something or other so said “no thank you darling” to which he replied “you want some wine?”
Oh just imagine the conversations they could have about us two – teachers everywhere would be calling childline π
Ooops. Nothing like from the mouths of babes. Mummy has been very naughty. Thanks for linking up to Fail Friday.
I am lol at this, hilarious. They always know just how to drop us in it!
Out of the mouth of babes, eh?!! Brilliant, I love that kids know us so well without us even realising it sometimes π
That was in the days when he would have said it with total innocence too!
This is so funny. Lucas does exactly the same and calls it ‘Mummy Juice’. I feel your pain and shame!!!!! x
They know us far too well π
Hilarious post – love it when your children humiliate you in public! Gin and Ryvita – good diet! POD insisted on shouting “Mummy need wine” last time I was in a supermarket. She’s right though – there’s nothing better than a chilled glass of Malborough Sauvignon! See you at BritMums, I’m going for a sneaky one in All Bar One beforehand π
Yay! See you there!