Helen

Colourful midlife mum to two teens. Determined not to do as she's told and slide off into invisible old age. Much cooler at 50 than she was at 15. Host of the Teenage Kicks podcast, about mental health for teenagers.

Girls day in: how to create a home spa

  As the grey sky glares down on us, and our condensate pipe requires more and more kettles of hot water to thaw out and provide us with heating, we find ourselves wishing we’d booked our Center Parcs trip for January rather than waiting for the summer. Clearly we would be spending most of our time indoors, in the Subtropical Swimming Paradise, deluding ourselves that summer has arrived. But Mummy would almost certainly be sloping off to the Aqua Sana Spa, and after my home spa experience last week, I will be hot on her heels! As a result of …

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When a pet dies… 3:52

My best photo this week drew a lot of views and comments on Facebook. Like a lot of people we have taken full advantage of the snowy weather, throwing it, shaping it, lying in it, and sliding on it. We all went out for some fun, including our pets. But sadly we were having far too much fun to focus on our responsibilities. As we piled back indoors with rosy cheeks and sparkling eyes to burn our throats on steaming mugs of chocolate, we failed to notice that one of our party got left behind, forgotten, outside in the snow. …

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Easy Pork Schnitzel Recipe Only 5 Weightwatchers Pro Points

"Weightwatchers easy port schnitzel recipe"

  We were recently given a new WeightWatchers recipe book titled Fresh and easy everyday. Mummy finds that the key to staying on track with her ProPoints is variety, so new recipes are always welcome. Inspired by our recent cookery class with top chef Francesco Mazzei, and by the promise of “easy” recipes, Mummy handed over this Weightwatchers book to me, and left me to get on with it. I chose this easy Pork Schnitzel recipe because I like all the ingredients, and we estimated a total cooking time of 15 minutes. Mummy cooked some tiny rosemary and garlic potatoes, …

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Apologies

“Ok GG have fun at Brownies. Daddy’s picking you up later. Don’t forget to bring your coat home.” “I’m back Mummy…!” “Did you remember your coat?” “No…” There were remonstrations, there was screaming and yelling at the unfairness of having to remember everything! And there was the penance of having to go to bed and ‘think’ about how I might remember better next time. I went to bed. Mummy finished reading to the Bug. As she left her room, there was this, just outside the door: And that isn’t even the funniest thing! When she came to ask why I’d complained about not …

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Children reading 2:52

My favourite photo this week is an appalling shot really, but it is here not for its artistic merit, but for what it says to me. After Daddy does the bath Mummy comes up to read a bedtime story. However on this particular evening she was busy getting some or other adult-type dish into the oven. Curry, no doubt, or something else I would refuse to eat. She yelled up to ask if I would listen to the Bug read his schoolbook while we waited. She came up 10 minutes later to find us snuggled together in my den. “It’s …

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Saturday is caption day…

Now, for those of you who don’t know this pair personally, I can tell you that their expressions tell you more than words ever could… (Mummy)

Shopping lists: Wot so Funee?

Welcome back to Wot so Funee? and a happy new year to you. At the age of 8 my writing is not often funee in the original sense of the word. The Bug is beginning to produce regular funee snippets, so we are looking forward to showcasing his writing very soon. For now, we are laughing at Mummy’s expense, courtesy of moi! As my writing is legible, and my spellings mostly correct, Mummy takes advantage by asking me to add to our shopping list. As she peels the last carrot, or drizzles the last dregs of olive oil, she sends …

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How to recycle your Christmas Cards

"how to make home made decoupage greetings cards"

Mummy hates waste. You name it – we recycle it. Last Sunday’s chicken roast? Sandwiches. Then stir-fry. Finally, soup. We have been subjected to the weirdest menus in the name of not wasting leftovers. You know that rule that says you can only cook meat twice before it must be discarded? Well, Mummy doesn’t. We’ve even once been served two-day-old bubble and squeak (with added bacon) sandwiched between a couple of pasta sheets, masquerading as a veggie lasagne. Our house is full of random buttons, screws and blue-tack remnants, and the tiniest snippet of paper has to go into the …

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Center Parcs and Tots100 perfect Christmas elf!

Some of you may know that we are Center Parcs bloggers next year. Whilst we are very excited about the prospect of visiting and reviewing Elveden Forest, we are also looking forward to some creative challenges. As it’s Christmas, they have set us the challenge of writing a poem about the Christmas Elf. I like to get handy with a pen so here is my take on the elf: Colouring in was done by The Bug, who wasn’t thrilled to be asked – ahem… There are still some coveted Center Parcs blogger places up for grabs! If you think you could …

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Murder Mystery party nightmare… Wot so funee

Mummy is catching up on Strictly via Sky plus. Behind the salsa beat she is listening to the background patter of my feet, roaming around upstairs. I’ve been down for cuddles twice; each time I was met with understanding and a supportive hug. The third time I was told firmly that enough was enough, and sent back to sleep. But I can’t… I had a fantastic day today. Mummy’s friend had a birthday, and what she wanted most was a party with children. They had set up a Murder/Mystery game for us, Cluedo-style. My friend’s Dad was a genius at …

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How to get your Mum to do Christmas craft: Wot So Funee?

“Bleurumph!” I stated, quite categorically, as Daddy blundered into my room and banged on the lights yesterday morning. Normally I would have been up at least 40 minutes earlier, pretending not to read the book I had surreptitiously stashed under my feet the night before. Without going into distasteful detail, let’s say I was off school with a tummy bug. I languished in bed listening to 1D whilst the Bug reluctantly donned his uniform and attempted to resist the inevitable school-run. I was still drowsing and disgruntled in my bed, so I received a Powerade and a cuddle, and was …

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Wot so Funee? A video from Santa

Every year around this time the Bug and I receive a personal message from Santa. He sends us each a video in an email to Mummy, and it really is exciting to see what he says about us. We know he really is watching us, because he has photos of us, and knows all about our holidays. So seriously, you actually do have to be good all year, and not just in the run-up to Christmas! We also know he got our Christmas wish lists, because he knows exactly what we’ve asked for. Now, this all happens by the magic …

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Kids and alcohol

We put our Christmas tree up yesterday. The iPod oozed twinkly tunes, the cinnamon sticks got a spray of festive scent, and we spent a happy afternoon rediscovering Santa books and stockings, last year’s home-made cards, and the Silent Night snow-globe. Then came the magical words all children long to hear: Fancy a glass of mulled wine…? Christmas is here, which means Mummy would normally drink quite a lot of wine. It’s ok, we don’t mind, it’s even quite cool, because she gets happy, and happy is always good. She gets the guilts too, about our plastic cups of water, …

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One stylish outfit, endless moves…

I am a very lucky girl. Having seen fit to send me an outfit I never thought my mother would approve of for the MAD Blog Awards, River Island surprised me a few weeks ago with some winter warmers. They have come in pretty handy this weekend, as the temperatures dropped, and our festive spirits began to seep out of the loft, dusty with the promise of broken baubles and indecipherable Christmas cards. This is my chosen outfit for the grand decorating of the Christmas tree – festive, cheeky, a little bit sparkly, and totally cool. I wonder what the …

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Not so Funee…

Mummy has flu. Mummy hasn’t had flu since 1993. In 1993 she took 5 days off work and spent the whole week in bed, sipping Beechams. But Mums can’t do that, can they? Mums still have to get the washing done, get the kids to school, feed the kids, only crawling back to bed once their children’s basic needs are met. Trouble is, when people see you coping with those minimum essentials, they tend to believe you’re not really as ill as you claim to be. Only a Mum knows that you will do whatever it takes, no matter how …

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(Silent) Sunday… For Kerry

Silent Sunday comes early for Actually Mummy this week, as we take a moment at 10pm to celebrate Multiple Mummy, and send healing thoughts to her and her family. Neither is it silent on this occasion. How could it be…? Come back safe Kerry x

Beautiful fairy lights from Blaze On

You know how when you grow out of Peppa Pig night lights, you’re too cool for the infamous Sleepytime Bunny, or teddies just don’t cut it any more? You can’t quite give up the need for a light in your room, but you prefer to label it an “aesthetic accessory?” You trawl Amazon looking for interesting fairy lights, there aren’t many, but you settle on one and install it by your bed. And it looks fabulous! It really does – until the batteries run out… We recently discovered Blaze On, who amongst other gorgeous things, sell beautiful fairy lights – …

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Shrek the Musical: best pantomime ever!

Me and the Bug have been begging to see Shrek the Musical ever since it was first advertised. The prices of West End Theatre tickets being what they are, M&D restrict us to one show per year, and I had asked this year for Matilda (which, OMG, you have to go and see). So we thought Shrek was firmly off the menu, until we were asked to go and review it! Based on the story of Shrek, but with plenty of small detours by way of a good song or a child actor, the show is full of glitter, fun …

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