Helen

Colourful midlife mum to two teens. Determined not to do as she's told and slide off into invisible old age. Much cooler at 50 than she was at 15. Host of the Teenage Kicks podcast, about mental health for teenagers.

My Favourite Tunes: Sunday Session

I am a big music fan – huge! I love Lady Gaga, Katy Perry, and Lily Allen (although for some reason Mummy often accidentally crashes into the CD player when she’s on so I rarely get to listen to her for long. My favourite lyric is ‘It’s not fair, I never get ice-cream’ but I’m never sure how it goes after that). Today I am going to share with you my favourite song. (Mummy, I know it’s your favourite song really, and that you pretend it’s mine just so you can sing it to me before I go to sleep. …

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Saturday is Caption Day

Alright lovely people. Can you give me a really good caption for this snap of the Bug outside Ikea? I will pass them all on to him, and the one that makes him laugh the most is the winner. Then have a go at some more crazy caption shenanigans over at Mammasaurus.

A-Z of Me

If you are a regular reader of this blog you will know pretty much everything there is to know about me. However, I have been asked some questions by Mum of One  around the alphabet. Now I know my A-Z extreemely well, being a speed-reader and all, so let me see if I can conjure up some lesser known points of interest around the Glib Girl and Bug: A is for Anorak: Do you have a sad side? Well, my right side is the one I sleep on, so that must me my happiest, right? Ergo, my sad side is on the left! …

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Happy Memories – The Gallery

My little brother had his very first day at school last week. Many photos were taken with pride, but I suspect that this will be the one which makes us laugh and remember that day in years to come. This is not the Bug. It is Darth Vader, and when Darth Vader (you have to say the Vader or he will not answer) is asked what he wants for tea, he will answer in his Darth Vader voice. If you need clarification, he will repeat it for you, but only in the voice. Anyway, Darth was so excited to be …

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Birthday Wishes!

Yesterday was Grandad’s birthday. We wished him a happy birthday and we sent him a balloon. I wish that helium balloons were strong enough to lift a bar of his favourite chocolate (Thornton’s, as I recall). I wish that on his birthday he could have seen the orange gerbera daisy we bought for him. I wish the balloon could have carried that flower to him so he would know we were thinking of him. I hope he received our birthday wishes floating on that shiny pillow of magic gas, straining for freedom.  We wished Grandad a happy birthday, and let go of the string, watching as our …

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This Picture Says….?

Right, lets see what all you caption fiends out there can do with this one! Just put your caption in the comment box below and then go and check out the others at Mammasaurus this week. Click the image

5 Things We Know About Daddy

Daddy, we know that you are rubbish at discipline, that 1-2-3 Magic might as well be a foreign language, and that you practically invented the word ‘mallarkey’. We also know that you hate the bath-time hysteria that mallarkey inevitably leads to, but we don’t know where to draw the line, and neither do you, so it is likely to continue for some time yet. But here are some things we know about you, that you might not even realise you have shared with us. Things that will stay with us forever, and change the way we lead our lives: You have a …

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School Shoes

There were tears on the playground this morning as my scuffed old school shoes bounded down the steps into my new classroom. The tears were not mine, nor were they shed on my behalf; I’m an old hand at this lark now, as you can see by the slightly scruffy appearance of my patent leather. No, the tears belonged with another pair of shoes; the brand new shiny ones on the left; the ones that have never seen the inside of a school …..until today. I bid the Bug good luck, with instructions on where to meet me on the …

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This Picture Says….?

Just for a laugh, leave a comment below with your suggestion 🙂 Joining in with Mammasaurus  ‘Saturday is Caption Day’ Link

Germans On Holiday

I had the best day out with Mummy recently. Each summer holiday we make a trip to London, where I get to hang out in Hamleys toy shop for several hours as long as I show some enthusiasm for something cultural beforehand. Well, here was my cultural exposition for this year: Whilst I lived out my fantasy, the Bug indulged in his with Daddy at Duxford war museum. Daddy is obsessed with World War 2, and it follows that my brother must be indoctrinated accordingly. So he is now fascinated with old aircraft, mesmerised by his Airfix models, and obsessed with You Tube videos of …

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Mother Abandons Children!

Today, a mother of 2 forgot to collect her children from their holiday drama class. After spending quality alone-time she rooflessly drove past the school and returned home. Alone. It was only when she walked into the empty house that she realised that no mother deserves that kind of peace and quiet. Something was missing. Imagine our horror at realising that we had been abandoned by our own mother. Okay so it was only for 10 minutes, before she came to her senses and about-turned the car. But  me and the Bug like to milk these things and maximise the …

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10 Things You Didn’t Know About Me

Tagged by Emmys Mummy I am here today to tell you some secrets. Now I’m a sharer; there’s not much I keep to myself – if I know it, you probably know it. So I have spent lots of time in my den this morning, thinking about me. Nothing new there, me is my favourite subject. But I did come up with one or two things I may not have shared recently; after all, now is always more on my mind than yesterday or tomorrow. 1. I am a budding actress. Drama has always been my thing (some might say …

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Playday: Low-cost tips for playing outdoors!

The Bug and me love playing Moshi Monsters. We like playing outdoors, but we love playing Moshi Monsters. So when Mummy said that today is Playday, we were thrilled! Then she clarified that Playday is when everyone has to play outdoors, and we groaned. Add to this the fact that money is scarce, and we have to find low-cost things to do as well! Ok then. Apparently 42% of children have never made a daisy chain. Well that I can understand, fiddly little seedlings. But a similar number have never climbed a tree! That got me off my swivel-chair – …

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5 Things I Learned From My Parents

My parents know nothing. Well, nothing useful anyway, like which Moshi Monster cards belong in the Fluffies group, or how to do a shuffle-hop-step in Tap. So I don’t think much about things I have learned from my parents. However, inspired by Kate Takes 5’s Listography post this week I got to thinking. And I was disconcertinered to realise that I have picked up some life skills from M&D along the way: How to argue: I have learned through careful observation how to conduct a ‘discussion’ and ‘settle a difference of opinion’ (these are terms which grown-ups use to describe …

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Top 5 Tips for Learning to Read

I am grumpy at the moment. Mummy is calling it ‘end-of-year-itis’. You know, that point you get to when you’re comfortable with the teacher, you know it all, your brother is like, sooooo annoying you, and school are throwing parties, assemblies, trips, DVD’s and treats at you because, well, just because. Add to that my teacher’s contagious ‘hayfever’ every time she thinks of us moving on (we are the best class in the school, after all), and a little bit of hysteria is inevitable. However, it is quite likely that I am also suffering from lack of sleep; this is how …

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Top 5 Gigs

For the first time I am joining in Listography at Kate Takes 5. Kate has asked for our top 5 bands to see at a gig. So to Kate, and to Mummy and all her friends, who like to think they are grown up and serious: ‘I am sorry’. But let me tell you, you do not have the monopoly on knowing who all the cool bands are. So here is my list: Miley Cyrus – like, duh, even my Dad wants to see her! Lady GaGa – she has the most amazing costumes, and I really need to check why …

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Breaking School Rules!

Today at school pick-up my teacher headed out into the playground. We all stopped and watched because this can sometimes be a bad sign. With a mounting sense of fear I realised she was heading for my mummy. I knew I had not had a bad bump today, so this could mean one of two things: either I was in trouble, or mummy was (she helps out in school and sometimes gets the sticking-in wrong). Turns out it was both of us, and this was the reason: Not very ladylike Oh, and this, of course: Mummy’s cyberfriend Tara at Sticky …

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Sports Day Ideas

Dress-up race I have a few. Sports Day should be about fun, teams, joining in. Hence the Carousel, where you get to try out fun stuff, with friends. I will happily put on the wig, jump in a sack, throw the foam javelin, and waddle with a balloon between my knees in the name of sporting fun. I may be quite good; I may not, but I will have fun nontheless. The Bug did well this year. Not fast, but with a really good strategy, he won the egg-and-spoon, the bean-bag on head, the sack race. M&D made a pact not …

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Grandad’s Gifts

Grandad’s Christmas Cake Board               My Grandad is the best. Always handy with a bag of sweets, the first to spot the ice-cream stall, a sucker for bright red icing at Christmas, especially if it came with a singing cake board! A competition with Grandma on every visit to see how much sugar each could get into us. But then, isn’t that what Grandparents are for? Mummy frowns a lot at people who stuff us full of sugar, and you were no exception Grandad. I remember the day I first understood about Heaven; it was …

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