Latest Funee Posts

Wot So Funee? How to change your parents

Prompted by I’m Counting UFO’s #funee post last week I remembered that actually I had wanted to change my Mummy recently. I knew I couldn’t, but after I’d doled out all the requisite slander – “You’re the worst Mummy in the world, you hate me, I hate you, you love the Bug more than me…” I pulled out my best lines to really sock it to her. “I’m going to tell Laura tomorrow, and she’s going to tell her Mum, and then her Mum will hate you too, and you’ll have no-one to speak to on the playground.” Mummy, having …

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Wot So Funee? The Family Chortlequaffer

We’re not big milk drinkers in our house. Mummy says she tickled my ear and sat through endless Baby Einstein recordings in her efforts to make me drink just one more ounce from my baby bottle. The Bug was worse – his dairy intolerance led to him being prescribed a dreadful chemical concoction smelling more like blue cheese than the sweet milk of a baby. Consequently we lost the milk habit very young, and our calcium these days is more likely to come from cheese, broccoli, and dried apricots (did you know, 3 dried apricots contain as much calcium as …

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Wot So Funee? The Bug

At what age do children really start to make sense, do you think? Recently I have uttered very little in the way of #funee verbal errors. My writing has been logical, with good spelling, and sensible dénouement. Hence I am forced to feature my 5-year-old brother today, and his best friend: Bug: England is the capital of London Bug’s Friend: Wales is in the Kingdom of the United Bug: Manchester United? Bug: I’m having my birthday for camping! BF: Oh, I really wanted to miss you… Bug: Why is your Grandad old? Isn’t that the most disjointed conversation you’ve ever heard?? I have no idea what …

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Wot So Funee? Listography: Top 5 truths – according to women

  Listography is back over at Kate Takes 5, and this week she is featuring the top 5 truths – according to women. You see women (and this is an important distinction to make) tell the best truths, the ones that don’t stop at simple fact, but include all possible intimations and hidden meanings. Women are even good at reading into a situation and finding all the meanings that aren’t there! So women have it covered. Now, add an 8-year-old into the equation and you will discover the most sublime truths ever known to mankind (and women). Top 5 Truths – according …

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Wot So Funee? The one where gin is Mummy’s ruin

I have been around Mums for long enough now to know that gin (and sometimes wine) is a hot topic of conversation. Mummy is more likely to be found sipping sauvignon, but Friday is Gin night, the start of the weekend, and the first sound of Daddy’s key in the door sees ice-cubes hurtling out of the mega-fridge and the Bombay Sapphire separated from it’s sticky mates Cointreau and DiSaronno. There is a saying that Gin is Mother’s Ruin, but I think it is for different reasons that Mummy came a cropper with it recently… Supermarkets are places the Bug …

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Wot so Funee? Bad things about Mums…

Last week Wot So Funee? was brought to you by my friend C, who was missing her Mummy, and filled a whiteboard with all the good things about Mums. Meanwhile, here is what I wrote on the other side:   My Mum dances. In front of my friends. To One Direction. She thinks she appeals to my friends by doing that. She doesn’t. She just looks like a weirdo. Ditto the singing. Why she can’t see my eyeroll and hear my sigh is totally beyond me. Embarrassing – see 1 & 2 She is always telling me off for bossing …

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Wot so Funee? Good things about Mums

In last week’s funee I talked about my tomboy friend with all the guns in her den. She will always play Prince to my Princess, Troy to my Gabriella, and Shrek to my Fiona. But when the playdate was at our house this week, she showed her soft spot when she decided to write about Mums: Meanwhile, on the  other side, I was completing my own version of the bad things about Mums. Mummy won’t let me post it here… Now, if you have your own post to link this week, grab the badge code from the bottom of the …

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Wot so Funee? No boys allowed

A very good friend of mine invites me and my brother over to play every couple of weeks. There is always a huge argument about whether the boys are allowed in the girls rooms. This friend is a tomboy, and so the best guns reside in her den. Naturally the boys want in. On arrival last week at hers for our usual playdate I approached her room to discover this pinned to the door. I think it’s genius! Don’t you?? Now, if you have your own post to link this week, grab the badge code from the bottom of the …

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Wot so Funee? in the People Newspaper

Thanks to the beady-eyed Chez Mummy we were recently interviewed by the People Newspaper for a feature in their Take it Easy Magazine. Who knew that children everywhere were impressing their parents with funees worthy of publication in a Sunday mag? Here’s our contribution: Children always know just the right thing to say, don’t you think? Now, if you have your own funny post (any post – it doesn’t need to be themed) to link this week, grab the badge code from the bottom of the page, and click the link below to enter your post – I can’t wait …

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Wot So Funee? A riddle

As you know, I have the best intentions to write intelligent, informative prose. All too often my efforts result in laughs from the adults around me. However, Mummy did a double take at one of my recent school efforts which, although funny, she thought was rather clever. Read on for a riddle by me… Do not scroll down yet! I want you to give this your best effort before you skip to the bottom, where you will find the entire masterpiece, complete with answer. In the meantime, as you wrestle with your grey cells, you can grab my badge from …

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Wot so Funee? More Mums with Nappy Brain!

Last week I may have mentioned how one post-natal Mum embarrassed herself mightily due to the factor I like to call “nappy brain.” Blame it on hormones, tiredness, or the aging process, it seems there are a large amount of Mums with nappy brain. Take a look at these ladies if you don’t believe me! Missing Sleep, on a trip to the swimming pool, discovered she couldn’t get her locker open. She got the staff to break into to get her clothes out, and then panicked because it was empty. After raising the roof about her stolen clothes, it began …

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Wot So Funee? Mums with nappy brain!

Mummy uses this feature each week to highlight some of the  things the Bug and I say and write that make her laugh. That’s fine; I’m a big girl, I can take a bit of nonsense if it makes her happy. What she neglects to include though, are the random gaffs that come out of the mouths of Mums with nappy brain. This week I am redressing the balance! Never let Mums with nappy brain out unsupervised: About 3 months after I was born, Mummy set off with two other new Mummies for a girls weekend. There were three adults …

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Wot So Funee? The Weird Forest (a short story)

by GG I like to read. I like to write. I read fast. I write fast. I am easily bored, so what may begin it’s foray onto paper as genius styling and witty prose, could well tail off into an ugly scrawl as I lose patience and start to crave a skipping rope. At school I have frequently been praised for a good start, then reprimanded for metaphorically wandering off the page and into my neighbour’s pencil case. Wot so funee about that?? C’mon, let me know!!! Now, if you have your own post to link this week, grab the …

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I know about God: Wot So Funee?

This is a Linky post – go ahead and link up Some of the the things the Bug and I know about God…. GG: Mummy, God is the only person who never leaves you. Bug: Yes, because I know where God is. He’s in your heart. Bug: Mummy, today God came to visit our class! GG: 🙄 No he didn’t. God can’t actually go places. Bug: He can! He came to talk to us about the Christian religion. I know him, his name’s Graham. Later… Bug: Look, there’s God, that’s who came to visit us today! That’s God. The Vicar: …

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A new Moshi Monsters app – and what the Bug gets up to on Twitter!

This is a Linky post – go ahead and link up This week we collected some great quotes from other funee kids and were set to do another Wot So Funee? compilation post. But you will have to wait, because at the last minute the Bug came to our rescue with a video review of the new Moshi Monsters app – and some rather naughty stuff he got up to on the iPad! There are 100 digital stickers to customise over 60 Moshlings. Which will take about as long as it takes to drive to Grandma’s house, so that’s all …

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Wot So Funee? All your kids!

It began last week with an erroneous tweet from Mummy. “Does anyone have an example of things children say that make you laugh?” she confidently intoned from the spaghetti junction that is her Tweetdeck account. She has a few twitter accounts – she chose the wrong one. The first response came back: Swiftly followed by: Now, @Ollie91 blogs, but he is by no means a Mummy Blogger. It has something to do with being a 2nd year Uni student. So Mummy got to thinking that there must be loads of people (who don’t regularly see fit to write a post …

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Banana fudge muffins recipe: the Bug’s favourite

Following my first attempt at hosting Listography for Kate Takes 5, with my Top 5 Yoghurts, the Bug has been pestering Mummy for a post of his own. I may have mentioned that Daddy likes to bake muffins on a Sunday, and has become something of an improvisation expert with his random flavours. Chilli chocolate muffins was not one of his better attempts 😯 The Bug rates the muffin quality each week and came up with his top 5 muffins: Does that make sense? Can you tell what he’s written? Granted, his handwriting is a little primitive. He then took …

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Souvenirs from Thailand – Daddy’s Home!

Daddy’s home! “I’m so excited I can’t get my socks on!” GG Daddy has been away in Thailand for the last 2 weeks. This morning, at the crack of dawn, we burst out of bed and down the M4 with nothing but a bag of Banana Fudge muffins and a bottle of juice so we could wait at the arrivals gate of Heathrow’s Terminal 3. At precisely 5.46 am we spotted him, and the Bug and I broke the no-entry rules to be sure we got to him as quickly as possible. Mummy was pleased to see him too. Until …

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Wot So Funee? Boys vs Girls

Many’s the time I despair of my brother. Boys just don’t get real life. Too wrapped up in dinosaurs and space. I prefer to dedicate my spare time to the pursuit of real life possibilities, such as becoming a princess and marrying a prince, flying high on a rose-covered swing, and drifting across the bridge of a glittering pond. In a secret garden. The Bug copies pretty much everything I do. I should be flattered really, but the thing is, he just doesn’t do it right. It’s because he’s a boy. Here’s his secret garden: It has a space ship, …

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Restaurant Critic: Wot So Funee?

There is a restaurant that I love. It is in Felixstowe, near Grandma’s house, and its name is The Alex. I have written about the Alex and its luminous loos before, and I never tire of toilet trips here. Add the fact that they serve an adult-friendly dish called “Scallops with chorizo and black pudding” (!!!*?!), as well as a child-friendly sausage and chips, and it really is a no brainer. Grandma’s treat is always at the Alex. Now the Alex is a classy establishment, always updating their menu, and constantly seeking feedback from the customer. Last time we went, …

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