Can I shave my legs yet?

Photo courtesy of Stephanie Belton Photography *This post has recently been updated with our solution to the problem. Scroll down to see what we did. I have this beautiful hair. At least that’s what everyone tells me. Problem is, as well as my head, I have it on my arms and legs. Not as long, obviously, but long and thick enough for me (and others) to notice it. I have mumbled about it on and off for a year now, but it is only now the summer uniform has kicked in that my friends are noticing, and commenting on it. …

Read more

Wot So Funee? Boys vs Girls

Many’s the time I despair of my brother. Boys just don’t get real life. Too wrapped up in dinosaurs and space. I prefer to dedicate my spare time to the pursuit of real life possibilities, such as becoming a princess and marrying a prince, flying high on a rose-covered swing, and drifting across the bridge of a glittering pond. In a secret garden. The Bug copies pretty much everything I do. I should be flattered really, but the thing is, he just doesn’t do it right. It’s because he’s a boy. Here’s his secret garden: It has a space ship, …

Read more

Saturday is Caption Day

We are thrilled to be a finalist in the National MAD Blog awards this year. Please vote for us in the Schooldays Category by clicking on the badge below.

Special Measures: a photo a week 20/52

This week saw plenty of opportunity for excercising the iPhone’s photography capabilities, and I was the first to put it to the test. I have been in “Special Measures” for a week now, following my absolute and utter inability to pretend like I care about good manners in any apparent fashion. You see an annoying Bug you squash it, don’t you? And yes, I do mean my brother. Dislike the request of your mother? Hair toss, eyeroll and snort routine, innit? Daddy puts his foot down? What else is there to do but scream your indignation out? Special Measures: “A …

Read more

Restaurant Critic: Wot So Funee?

There is a restaurant that I love. It is in Felixstowe, near Grandma’s house, and its name is The Alex. I have written about the Alex and its luminous loos before, and I never tire of toilet trips here. Add the fact that they serve an adult-friendly dish called “Scallops with chorizo and black pudding” (!!!*?!), as well as a child-friendly sausage and chips, and it really is a no brainer. Grandma’s treat is always at the Alex. Now the Alex is a classy establishment, always updating their menu, and constantly seeking feedback from the customer. Last time we went, …

Read more

Slow Cooker Red Lentil Curry recipe: 7 WeightWatchers ProPoints

Super simple slow cooker Lentil Curry recipe

What Mummy loves about this red lentil curry, aside from the fact that it has only 7 WeightWatchers ProPoints per serving, is that it genuinely needs no effort at all. Simply chop up all the vegetables, rinse the lentils until the water runs clear, mince the garlic, grate the ginger and chuck everything in the slow cooker on a high setting for about 4 hours. Or you can cook it all on the hob, with some low calorie cooking spray, if you’re in a hurry – about 15 minutes simmering will do it. You will need: 250g red lentils 1 …

Read more

School Trip

Overheard on a Reception year school trip…. “When are we going home?” “We just got here.” “Owen, I know you’re in love with me, but Fraser wants to marry me.” “Eeeuw that’s gross, I’m not touching that!” “Fraser’s cute, isn’t he?” “Yeah… there’s a hundred stones in my shoe.” Two bumped heads. Tears. Accusations. Packed lunches: berries in one, Kit-kat in another. Whining. Kit-kat consumed. Sugar rushes. “When’s lunch?” “We’ve just had lunch.” “What was it like?” “This is awesome guys! They’ve got diamonds and a dance ball!” “It’s a leafcutter. Look, it’s got toes.” “Now then children, this is …

Read more

Stitch Head: a Book Review

By Guy Bass At school I now have a blog of my own. We are currently being challenged to write proper posts on it, and not just message our friends. Yesterday I wrote Stitch Head: a Book Review. Mrs Feisty approved, although Mummy got into trouble for helping me put a link in there! 😳 Anyways, this is all my own work!  What was the story about? A mad professor named eramas made a creation called stitch he must be brave to  his kidnapped master…  What bit did you like and why? I liked the bit when stitch head …

Read more

Forest School

Hands up if you know what Forest School is? Here’s what we did in forest school this week: Found a worm Rescued that worm from being stamped on by Pippa. She thinks it’s funny, but I feel sorry for the worm, even though it looks gross Built a house for the worm, using sticks to form a teepee-style dwelling Constructed a swing with twigs and grass Checked that our teacher wasn’t noticing, before we…. Put the worm on the swing (using a stick, obviously, I could’t possibly touch an actual worm!) and gave it a push Put the worm to …

Read more

Madeleine McCann: who are we to judge?

Are Madeleine McCann’s parents really to blame? Once, I left my baby alone. I checked the windows of my hotel bedroom, closed the door and went downstairs to dinner. The reception on the monitor in the restaurant was terrible; anything could have been happening and I wouldn’t have heard it. The couple in the opposite corner seemed to be having trouble with their monitor too. But it was fine. I knew she was asleep, in her cot, unable to climb out, and there was a smoke alarm in the hotel. Have you ever left your sleeping child in a locked …

Read more

MAD Blog Awards Finalist!

I am compelled to update this post today (7.10.12) due to a request from Mummy Alarm to share our worst fashion faux pas. I thought I looked like a princess at the time. What? It was the eighties! I was trying to point out to an ex-boyfriend (and his new girlfriend) how gorgeous and unattainable I was. Do you think it worked?? I have also enjoyed revisiting my emotions on learning that we were finalists in the MADs! ***  1.03am sees me sitting downstairs in my dressing gown, stuffing Pom Bears in my cakehole, contemplating the awesome news that my little …

Read more

Cybher: I Spy an outfit dilemma

A dilemma. Mummy was all set for her trip to the Cybher conference, and had posted her outfit to Facebook. She bought this Anna Field Dress recently from Zalando, and I can confirm that she rocks it (if she lays off the chips and beer the night before). Job done: one properly cool dress for Cybher. But then, this turned up: My own design! The Actually Mummy brand, on a t-shirt! What a nifty idea to stop other attendees having to stare at her boobs just to establish whether or not they know her! (From her name badge, obviously, not …

Read more

Disney Nature African Cats film review

The lovely Disney, the creators of all my favourite Princesses, the fulfiller of my dreams as  I screamed Cinderelly’s name at Disneyland Paris, has made a nature documentary. African Cats: you know, stunning animals that you get to know and love, who then rip out your heart as they disembowel a weaker prey, or fall victim to their own predators? We were invited to the premiere of African Cats last week, and I’ll be honest: the prospect of seeing the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge was more of a draw than the film itself; I was a little worried about …

Read more

Extreme Ironing – Blog it for Babies with Save the Children

Well, Blog it for Babies reached St Albans yesterday (more on that later, in a much saner and more newsworthy post). The day was a huge success, but before I tell you about it, here is how Annie from Mammasaurus spent the evening, extreme ironing Dadda Cool’s shirts for charity! By the way Grandma, knowing your opinion of Mammasaurus, you might want to skip this video and read the more ‘normal’ post later on.