Miscellaneous

Whose responsibility is it to keep your child safe online?

Whose responsibility is it to keep your children safe online?

 The internet is very dangerous. Children should be banned from computers until they’re 18. I have no idea what I clicked, but the damned computer just took me away from what I was viewing, and onto some totally random site! Snapchat isn’t dangerous – the images are gone in an instant. Don’t worry about Facebook. As long as they’re not on Grinder you’re fine. All things that have been said to me recently. As a parent who knows a fair bit about social media, I thought we would have it sorted when the time comes for our children to begin their …

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Wot so Funee? A promise…

Can I stay in the car while you’re in the shop? Pleeease? I really want to read my book… I’ve debated this recently. She’s nearly 10, I was only popping in for 3 items, and the car park wasn’t busy. I let the idea waft through my over-nervy parenting psyche, and said what I always say. No. That will only happen when I’m ready to spend 5 minutes knowing she is alone, without tearing my way through the checkout queue with the demeanour of a rabid dog. And in case you’re reading Actually Daddy, that time has not come, so …

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Quick answers from the Portland Hospital

Post written in partnership with the Portland Hospital. Is there anything more frightening than your child falling suddenly, and dramatically ill? When all the relaxed parenting attitude you’ve carefully cultivated over the years evaporates and you’re reduced to pacing and biting your nails as you try to figure out what’s wrong with your baby. This happened to us a few weeks ago, as GG went to bed with a couple of raised, itchy bumps on her tummy, and woke 3 hours later almost completely covered in allergic hives. Piriton barely touched it, and I spent the next two nights sponging …

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Chilling out on Fistral Beach

Surfing on Fistral Beach

I love this photo. I know so many things about it that quite simply aren’t visible to everyone else. That my daughter, who loved pink, and once selected outfits on the basis of how twirly they were, now prefers blue. That blue, especially this periwinkle shade, is so totally her  colour. It’s the colour of her eyes when she was a newborn – indigo eyes, black hair, hard to believe now. You can’t see it in this picture, but this colour brings back the flecks of that baby in her eyes and I remember… Or that this messy hair isn’t …

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I’m sorry… #BritMumsLive

I have wanted to write this post for a long time. I have tumbled thoughts around in my head for months, not sure how to articulate them without risking a nasty backlash. I have privately raged about the ‘voices’ that other writers have appropriated on the subject, but not had the confidence to add my own. It’s only now that I know the right words. Feminism. God what a frightening word that is. On Friday I had the pleasure of speaking on the opening panel of BritMumsLive. Alongside journalism icons Eleanor Mills and Bryony Gordon, as well as Stella Creasy, …

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Everything is awesome (in our new electric car)

We’d been waiting to climb inside for days. It had been sitting on our driveway, declared awesome from the moment we saw its shiny – almost golden – silver bodywork. Sooo awesome when we discovered the really nifty door handles that open like no other car we’ve seen. These things matter to children. We ought to have explained them to Daddy, who, after years of having a two-door car, couldn’t work out how to pull the seats forward in order to fit our carseats in the back… Today we took our first ride in our new Renault Zoe. It was …

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Expressions #11: Too much too young?

Happy My children are lucky. Whilst we’re not well-off, we are able to afford occasional extravagances. My children are also blessed with an over-excited Dad, who spent one morning back in October refreshing his screen, determined to secure tickets for One Direction at Wembley stadium. The date rolled around last Sunday, and together with 79,996 girls and their Mums we made our way to Wembley stadium. I was never allowed to go to gigs and concerts when I was young. The Manchester Apollo was a hive of criminal activity and any young girl going within a 5 mile radius was …

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7 Father’s Day gift ideas to suit all budgets

This year we’re trying to be creative with Father’s Day. Gone are the days when I could get away with a home-made card, and eating his picnmix. So we’ve been on the lookout for something a bit more innovative, that he hasn’t already got. Here we’ve given you some of our favourites, in a range of pocket-money budgets 🙂 7 Father’s Day gift ideas Blow the budget – £1800 My Dad drinks a LOT of coffee. He necks the instant all day at work, but at weekends, when he has the time, he likes a good cup of coffee. He …

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Expressions #10: Lemme take a selfie

Every year since my second child was born, I’ve spent a day with my daughter, just us girls, in London. We do as much as a family as we can, and we love our time together. Beneath the general bickering that goes on between siblings, it’s plain to see how much my son and daughter love each other, but the chores and mini-hurdles of everyday life see me spending much of my time in arbitration, not truly focusing on either one of my children. When the Bug was a newborn, I went to lunch with my girl, more to reassure …

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Great British Holidays: 5 reasons to visit Lynton and Lynmouth

Lynton and Lynmouth is an ideal base for exploring Exmoor

The rumble of the cattle grid beneath the wheels announced our arrival on Exmoor, and immediately the landscape changed. Trees gave way to vast green plains, peppered with gorse and sprays of heather. Here and there a paint splash of pink as rhododendrons grow wild, making an easy home, tipping the hat of irony at my futile attempts to cultivate them in my own garden. A smile rushed onto my face and took up permanent residence for the next two days. 5 Reasons to visit Lynton and Lynmouth Wildlife Immediately there were sheep, suicidal as they wandered the roads, peering …

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Wot so Funee? Bogies and contact lenses

Wot So Funee

Welcome back to another Wot so Funee? We’ve loved reading the antics at Nikki, Emma, and Donna‘s blogs, but now it’s time for us to entertain you. And boy, have we clocked up some gaffs – all at the expense of the Bug. I’m sure he’ll get me back for this, but for now, he has the floor. Mums and Dads bicker. I know you know how it goes. Dads make a mess, Mums sigh a lot and do tidying, until they get tired, and then they start to grumble. I’m rather good at heading all that off and telling …

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School camps

By GG, aged 9. My favourite way to spend a sunny day outside is on school camp. It’s actually GG here. I haven’t written for quite a long time. That’s because Bug has been hogging the computer to play Skylanders. (I don’t even know what Skylanders are so don’t ask me).I went away on a school trip to Belchamps, the most amazing scout camp in the world a few weeks ago. I bet you want to find out some more about it now. What? You don’t? Well I’m sorry but you have to. When I went on my school trip to Belchamps I was …

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A new family adventure has begun…

Earlier this year we went skiing for the first time as a family. Each of us had different expectations of our trip, but none of us knew how it would pan out. You see, although all of us had experienced skiing before, this time was going to be different; this time we were a family of four. From my ‘headlong into the thrills’ approach, to Mummy’s nervous ‘will I have to carry 3 pairs of skis and a wailing child’ trepidation, we ran the gauntlet of ‘what-if’s’ for weeks before our arrival on the slopes. Would Daddy be frustrated with …

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Expressions portrait photo #07: Freeze movement

My stubborn boy. He is typical of his age: not given to narcissism for the sake of the camera; he will make a fabulous photo-bomber when he’s old enough to be strategic about his ludicrous facial expressions and goofy grins. But give him a project and he will apply himself. “I want to try and make fairies. Will you help me?” And so he stood, in a shady corner of the garden, blowing dandelion clocks. Imagination held hostage for a few moments as he checked the camera to see if we had caught them. My patient boy. To freeze movement and capture so …

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Expressions portrait photos #06: My brother is annoying…

Siblings bicker, but then, just occasionally, there are moments of harmony

My brother is annoying. He is 6. I’m told that all 6 year olds irritate their siblings, but as far as I can remember, The Bug has been annoying since birth. My Mum would have it that he’s cute, given as he is to bear hug cuddling; she claims he is sensitive, referencing his tendency to literally drag her to me if I suffer an injury; and she is convinced he is kind, citing his inclination to share his teddies if one of us is feeling down. But I know him better than anyone. Hello?! How do you think he …

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Wot so Funee? Funny quotes from a 6 year old

Do you know what’s funny? As I sit here scheduling this post for Tuesday morning I get a DM from one of my regulars. Did she miss Wot so Funee? or did I not do one? What are you on about Mrs, Wot so Funee? goes out on Tuesdays. That’s tomorrow! Oh. No it’s not. What’s funny is that I’ve spent all day today thinking it’s Monday, and now Wot so Funee? is stupidly late. Sorry. You can all have a good laugh at me, because I totally deserve it.   This week I’ve gathered together a bunch of The …

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Expressions portrait photo #05: Swing

Over the Easter holiday we were at a family wedding. We stayed in the loveliest farm cottage overlooking Dartmoor. There were sheep. I have an odd talent for making animal noises (I know, not particularly useful). It rained a lot! So we were reduced to driving along the lane, baa-ing at the sheep, and trying to figure out what they might be saying in reply. GG insisted that my baas were declaring the deliciousness that is a Sunday leg of lamb. The sheep, unsurprisingly, were angry in their tone, or so she says. Fortunately, there was also a swing set …

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Brilliance in Blogging: How did it come to this?

11.56 Wednesday 30 April.  Just now, this happened: Post by Helen Wills. I have been lucky enough to win two great blogging awards in the three years since I first converted key taps to the stories of my children. I am stunned every time, and humbled by the communal thumbs up from the blogging community. But never more than today. Not one, but two categories. Best Writer: When I began to write, it was on this blog. I had never written before. I was no budding journalist, or wannabe romance scriber. From the minute I began, I dreamed I might one …

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Priceless jewellery: Wot so Funee?

We spotted a friend’s Facebook post last night that made us giggle. Steph gave us permission to quote her lovely daughter and her playdate friend, who were reading the recent anniversary edition of Girl Talk magazine. The copy featured the first ever giveaway Girl Talk had done, a free choker necklace. The overheard conversation went like this: – “What’s a choker?”– “It’s a necklace so fat that it makes you choke.”– “Why are they giving it away then?”– “Cos nobody would buy it!”– “Ah yeah good point.” As an aside, whilst my Mum was styling this choker that I made at …

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