Helen

Colourful midlife mum to two teens. Determined not to do as she's told and slide off into invisible old age. Much cooler at 50 than she was at 15. Host of the Teenage Kicks podcast, about mental health for teenagers.

Badly behaved…

Rudeness and bad behaviour just isn't necessary

Recently we visited a restaurant on our holidays. It was about 7pm, and after a long drive, we were looking for some great pub food, as recommended by our hotel. As we walked through the bar area en route to the restaurant, we got a glare from the barman. Odd, but not unusual – sometimes pubs don’t allow children in the bar, and that’s fine. But what happened next left us speechless. “Oh, we can’t have children in the restaurant. Or the bar. We do have this table in the lobby, but unfortunately it’s taken at the moment.” The Rising …

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7 Father’s Day gift ideas to suit all budgets

This year we’re trying to be creative with Father’s Day. Gone are the days when I could get away with a home-made card, and eating his picnmix. So we’ve been on the lookout for something a bit more innovative, that he hasn’t already got. Here we’ve given you some of our favourites, in a range of pocket-money budgets 🙂 7 Father’s Day gift ideas Blow the budget – £1800 My Dad drinks a LOT of coffee. He necks the instant all day at work, but at weekends, when he has the time, he likes a good cup of coffee. He …

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Expressions #10: Lemme take a selfie

Every year since my second child was born, I’ve spent a day with my daughter, just us girls, in London. We do as much as a family as we can, and we love our time together. Beneath the general bickering that goes on between siblings, it’s plain to see how much my son and daughter love each other, but the chores and mini-hurdles of everyday life see me spending much of my time in arbitration, not truly focusing on either one of my children. When the Bug was a newborn, I went to lunch with my girl, more to reassure …

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Great British Holidays: 5 reasons to visit Lynton and Lynmouth

Lynton and Lynmouth is an ideal base for exploring Exmoor

The rumble of the cattle grid beneath the wheels announced our arrival on Exmoor, and immediately the landscape changed. Trees gave way to vast green plains, peppered with gorse and sprays of heather. Here and there a paint splash of pink as rhododendrons grow wild, making an easy home, tipping the hat of irony at my futile attempts to cultivate them in my own garden. A smile rushed onto my face and took up permanent residence for the next two days. 5 Reasons to visit Lynton and Lynmouth Wildlife Immediately there were sheep, suicidal as they wandered the roads, peering …

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Wot so Funee? Bogies and contact lenses

Wot So Funee

Welcome back to another Wot so Funee? We’ve loved reading the antics at Nikki, Emma, and Donna‘s blogs, but now it’s time for us to entertain you. And boy, have we clocked up some gaffs – all at the expense of the Bug. I’m sure he’ll get me back for this, but for now, he has the floor. Mums and Dads bicker. I know you know how it goes. Dads make a mess, Mums sigh a lot and do tidying, until they get tired, and then they start to grumble. I’m rather good at heading all that off and telling …

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Expressions #09: Water Fun!

Our Expressions post this week  could just as easily be a caption post. It was the single day of sunshine that we had last weekend. A day for rediscovering the bubble box, and for changing the batteries in this water fan bottle, an over-priced souvenir of our trip to Disney last year. When I came to edit, not only was this the best photo technically, it also made me snort my tea, and so it had to be the one. There is nothing like a day warm enough for the kids to drag out their summer clothes and play with …

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School camps

By GG, aged 9. My favourite way to spend a sunny day outside is on school camp. It’s actually GG here. I haven’t written for quite a long time. That’s because Bug has been hogging the computer to play Skylanders. (I don’t even know what Skylanders are so don’t ask me).I went away on a school trip to Belchamps, the most amazing scout camp in the world a few weeks ago. I bet you want to find out some more about it now. What? You don’t? Well I’m sorry but you have to. When I went on my school trip to Belchamps I was …

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Easy Family Food: Versatile Pizza Tart recipe

Easy family food - versatile 'pizza' tart for the whole family

When the Bug and I get home from school, chaos often sets in. Both of us have various places we need to be, and everyone needs to be fed. Pizza tart is one of our quick and easy staples. Simple to prepare, just chuck on any ingredients you have in the fridge and bake. It’s good hot or cold, and stands up well to being reheated for later if you’re the kind of family that sometimes needs to eat in shifts! In this version we decided to get a bit more exciting with our ingredients, and used OXO’s new Shake …

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Expressions #08: my football fan

Six months ago he wasn’t happy about football. Year 2 boys suddenly seem to ‘get’ football, picking teams and chasing the ball on a concrete playground, until injuries and arguments see the game banned. Not for long though. Year 2 boys will always find a way. Not so the Bug, who didn’t see the point. Nor could he fathom why his best friends were consumed with the need to play, every breaktime, at the expense of time spent with him. He felt discarded, lonely, on the outside of a game he didn’t understand, or have any inclination to join in …

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Asthma – the cold fear inside

I lay next to her as she slept in my bed, and listened to her breathing. The rash was up again; her beautiful face was covered in puffy, red patches, that were spreading down her neck and shoulders as I watched under the torchlight. It hadn’t been there at bedtime, and yet when I checked on her at 11pm she was covered. I had dragged her from sleep to administer anti-histamine, brought her to my bed so I would know if she worsened. She has asthma, you see, my baby girl. What if this sudden – and very dramatic – …

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A new family adventure has begun…

Earlier this year we went skiing for the first time as a family. Each of us had different expectations of our trip, but none of us knew how it would pan out. You see, although all of us had experienced skiing before, this time was going to be different; this time we were a family of four. From my ‘headlong into the thrills’ approach, to Mummy’s nervous ‘will I have to carry 3 pairs of skis and a wailing child’ trepidation, we ran the gauntlet of ‘what-if’s’ for weeks before our arrival on the slopes. Would Daddy be frustrated with …

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Expressions portrait photo #07: Freeze movement

My stubborn boy. He is typical of his age: not given to narcissism for the sake of the camera; he will make a fabulous photo-bomber when he’s old enough to be strategic about his ludicrous facial expressions and goofy grins. But give him a project and he will apply himself. “I want to try and make fairies. Will you help me?” And so he stood, in a shady corner of the garden, blowing dandelion clocks. Imagination held hostage for a few moments as he checked the camera to see if we had caught them. My patient boy. To freeze movement and capture so …

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Expressions portrait photos #06: My brother is annoying…

Siblings bicker, but then, just occasionally, there are moments of harmony

My brother is annoying. He is 6. I’m told that all 6 year olds irritate their siblings, but as far as I can remember, The Bug has been annoying since birth. My Mum would have it that he’s cute, given as he is to bear hug cuddling; she claims he is sensitive, referencing his tendency to literally drag her to me if I suffer an injury; and she is convinced he is kind, citing his inclination to share his teddies if one of us is feeling down. But I know him better than anyone. Hello?! How do you think he …

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Grown Up Tuna Pasta Bake Recipe that Kids will Love

How to feed the whole family with just one recipe All hell is breaking loose. You abandoned any attempt at creative play hours ago and the bickering upstairs would indicate that a full-scale atrocity is underway. Homework litters the kitchen table and a million Hama beads are skating under the fridge. To make matters worse, it is 5 o’clock and the freezer is offering you nothing but a bald fish finger and some chewy-looking ice-cream. Plus it was Friday food at school today, so pizza isn’t an option, and Actually Daddy will be home looking to be fed in half …

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Wot so Funee? Funny quotes from a 6 year old

Do you know what’s funny? As I sit here scheduling this post for Tuesday morning I get a DM from one of my regulars. Did she miss Wot so Funee? or did I not do one? What are you on about Mrs, Wot so Funee? goes out on Tuesdays. That’s tomorrow! Oh. No it’s not. What’s funny is that I’ve spent all day today thinking it’s Monday, and now Wot so Funee? is stupidly late. Sorry. You can all have a good laugh at me, because I totally deserve it.   This week I’ve gathered together a bunch of The …

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Expressions portrait photo #05: Swing

Over the Easter holiday we were at a family wedding. We stayed in the loveliest farm cottage overlooking Dartmoor. There were sheep. I have an odd talent for making animal noises (I know, not particularly useful). It rained a lot! So we were reduced to driving along the lane, baa-ing at the sheep, and trying to figure out what they might be saying in reply. GG insisted that my baas were declaring the deliciousness that is a Sunday leg of lamb. The sheep, unsurprisingly, were angry in their tone, or so she says. Fortunately, there was also a swing set …

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Brilliance in Blogging: How did it come to this?

11.56 Wednesday 30 April.  Just now, this happened: Post by Helen Wills. I have been lucky enough to win two great blogging awards in the three years since I first converted key taps to the stories of my children. I am stunned every time, and humbled by the communal thumbs up from the blogging community. But never more than today. Not one, but two categories. Best Writer: When I began to write, it was on this blog. I had never written before. I was no budding journalist, or wannabe romance scriber. From the minute I began, I dreamed I might one …

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Priceless jewellery: Wot so Funee?

We spotted a friend’s Facebook post last night that made us giggle. Steph gave us permission to quote her lovely daughter and her playdate friend, who were reading the recent anniversary edition of Girl Talk magazine. The copy featured the first ever giveaway Girl Talk had done, a free choker necklace. The overheard conversation went like this: – “What’s a choker?”– “It’s a necklace so fat that it makes you choke.”– “Why are they giving it away then?”– “Cos nobody would buy it!”– “Ah yeah good point.” As an aside, whilst my Mum was styling this choker that I made at …

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Saving money and the world with EcoButton

My mother is constantly on the computer. She claims she is not; she likes to maintain that she is hard at work 10-2 every school day, and then switches off for “quality time” when we come home. But it doesn’t take much to see her heading back to the laptop: “I’ll just check that definition for you online…” she may suggest, before she is once again immersed in Facebook or Twitter. Once it’s on, it’s on, and she is backwards and forwards to the screen in between making cups of tea and creating pasta variations for mine and the Bug’s tea. And …

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How to decorate a Chess and Football cake

Sporty cake for the Sport Relief Great Bloggers Bake Off

I’m not a huge baker. Occasionally I spend an afternoon with the kids throwing random things at a pan, loosely based around a recipe book, but more often than not substituting ingredients as we discover we don’t have what we need. I need to get better at prep. But give me a decorating challenge and I’m all over it. Take the time I spent 5 hours pimping this for my 4 year old’s birthday:     So when Jenny laid down a challenge to create a sport themed cake for the Great Bloggers Bake Off for Team Honk, I didn’t …

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